


When a human strokes your skin (That is when you let them in)

by TheOverflowingJar (Mesarthim)



Series: Soft Universe [1]
Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: 18+ characters, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Study, First Kiss, Introspection, Kaworu's a little shit, Kaworu's happy to love him, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Shinji needs some love, Shinji's shy, Slight Gay Panic, Touch-Starved, bisexual Shinji Ikari, but not as shy as he thinks, this is gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 08:17:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18245966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mesarthim/pseuds/TheOverflowingJar
Summary: Shinji doesn't go to live with Misato. He stays at Nerv headquarters and meets Kaworu soon after.Basically, what would happen if they had a little more time together.





	When a human strokes your skin (That is when you let them in)

**Author's Note:**

> The title of the series, "Soft Universe" is from the same song by AURORA.  
> The title of the work is from another song by AURORA, "Through The Eyes Of A Child".
> 
> I've read it and re-read it and by now I know it by heart. There probably still are some mistakes I've missed.   
> Be patient, English isn't my first language. 
> 
> Enjoy.

In his life Shinji Ikari has always been surrounded by people. 

Since his father left him when he was just a child, Shinji has been passed down from tutor to tutor. Some of them were kind, some of them were friendly, some of them just felt pity at seeing such a small child all on his own, and some of them had just been downright bored. 

Shinji never tried to be friends with them. He never tried to make them something they were not: they were his tutors, their job was making sure nothing bad happened to him. He never tried to look for a father figure in them. He already had a father. As absent as he was, he has always been present in Shinji’s life. 

Well, the thought of Gendo Ikari has always been present in Shinji’s thoughts and in everything he did. 

At times, some of his tutors said things like  _ oh your father must be so proud of you, you’re such a great student _ , or tried to convince Shinji to do something to make his father proud. 

Shinji has always wanted to make him proud, even without all those people reminding him. Shinji also has always knew that Gendo Ikari would never be proud of him, no matter what he did. 

So, it isn’t surprising that the first time Gendo sees Shinji in well over three years, his face is stern as usual, and not even a gleam of warmth shows behind his glasses. His words are curt, his demeanor's frigid, his eyes look straight at Shinji, demanding, without even a hint of uncertainty. He knows Shinji will do what is asked of him. He expects Shinji to just accept that, from now on, he has to pilot the Evangelion. 

That is the worst day Shinji has ever had, worse even than when his father left him with just a bag and copious tears in his eyes.

Shinji doesn't want to do it. He doesn't want to risk his life to make his absent father happy - would he even be happy or just write Shinji down as a reliable substitute? But he has all this people watching him with pleading eyes, except his father whose gaze is hard and unforgiving. Shinji can feel the expectation exuding from Katsuragi and Akagi, women he just met, who already expect him to risk his life for what? For a father who only calls his son when he needs him to do something? For a city Shinji has never lived in? For a world who has always treated him like a scrap of a ruined family? But he can't let a bruised and bleeding Ayanami pilot that thing, not if he can be useful and avoid other people to suffer. 

In the end, he gets in the robot. 

He doesn't remember what happened, just an absolute, all encompassing terror and a piercing pain. He remembers the long, white face of the creature so close to him, all Shinji could see were his black, hollowed eyes. Pain, screaming. And then a white, unknown ceiling. 

He doesn't get a thank you from his father, not even an acknowledgement for what he did. Just his hard stare and cold words. Shinji should’ve know better. Still, he keeps imagining what Gendo’s smile could look like. 

Shinji can’t remember one single time he has ever seen his father smile. 

 

Misato Katsuragi, on the other hand, is nothing like Shinji has ever imagined. 

He stubbornly ignored the photo she had sent him so he could recognize her when they would’ve met at Shinji’s arrival in Neo Tokyo 3. He kept thinking that, surely, an operations director at Nerv would’ve been a bit more professional. Surely, she was so busy she didn’t had the time to find a more suitable photo. Just one that, some years ago, had been graffitied by some high schooler - why that was, he couldn’t fathom. 

But when Shinji meets Misato in that deserted street in Neo Tokyo 3, her smile is one of the biggest he’s ever seen and her bubbling personality leaves him dumbfounded. 

Shinji is even more speechless when she offers to house him in her apartment. No one has ever been so kind to him. Kindness was always born out of pity, or because he was the commander’s son - thinking maybe if they treated him well, they could get a raise or a better job position. 

Shinji never thought Misato would’ve suggest to live together, since he wasn’t a child anymore. 

He’s caught so much off guard that he doesn't realize at first that Misato is expecting an answer. On the spot. How is Shinji supposed to react when a person like Katsuragi - long dark hair, legs for miles and a chipper disposition - asks him to share a flat together? Of course he gently declines her offer. He thanks her for her kindness but he has been taking care of himself for quite some times now, he’s used to being alone. 

Misato insists for a while, but Shinji is adamant. 

That evening, he drops his bag in the room Nerv staff has provided him and he’s been living there ever since.

 

Ayanami seems to not even comprehend the world  _ smile _ . 

Granted, the first time Shinji met her she wasn’t really in any condition to be smiling - all bandaged up, bleeding and whimpering - but ever since their first encounter, her expression has always been apathetic. As if she’s going through life awaiting the next order. Gendo’s next order. 

Shinji has tried many times to struck up a conversation - they’re in the same situation, so why not become friends, right? - but Ayanami’s answers are always monosyllabic. The rare times she thinks Shinji worthy of answer.

In the beginning, Shinji was looking up to her. She seemed so courageous, so professional, so hell bent on protecting the city. So useful for Gendo. And that is what Shinji wants. To be useful to his father. Shinji knows his father has no use of sentimental people, what he needs are people who can obey orders, fight and help him in his job. And Shinji feels nothing like that.

But with time, he starts to notice that Ayanami does nothing more other than train and read. And even reading doesn't look like a hobby, more a way to pass the time that isn’t looking out the window. 

All the things he has seen in her slowly dissipates leaving an aftertaste of sadness and emptiness. 

Is there anything in Ayanami’s life other than Gendo Ikari and grey books?

 

Asuka Soryu Langley is not a girl. 

Asuka Soryu Langley is a woman on a mission. And her mission is to be the best Evangelion pilot in existence. 

Scratch that, she already is the best pilot in existence - if you listen to her opinion.

In Shinji’s opinion, Asuka’s very loud. And very hard to ignore. Shinji tried many times to avoid her and not talk to her but the high volume of her voice, her way of moving in a closed space as if she owns the place and her very own presence demand attention. Besides, for how many times he tried to be oblivious to her, a part of him can always tell when she's in the room. He hates this part of himself. Whether it is because he's a boy or because of his teenager's hormones, there's always a light current in his body that comes alive when Asuka enters a room. As if a little red switch goes on in Shinji's head.  _ Attention, attention, Asuka's in the building! _ It's obnoxious. 

Since the first time Shinji met her - and got slapped - he knew it would’ve been tough to get along with her. 

Asuka always does her best though, and demands her effort to be recognized. Maybe Shinji could learn something from her.

She always faces life with such energy that Shinji can’t fathom how she’s never bone tired at night. She seems to live her emotions to the fullest: her ager bursts out of her in a flurry of words - and insults -, her excitement shakes her small body whole, her happiness expands from her and flows to the other people around. 

Her smiles are many, but they all seem the same. As if she had learned long ago how to be the perfect picture of happiness. As if her smile were her sword, so sharp she doesn’t even need to use her strength to cut down her enemy. 

Because that’s what they all are to her: enemies. 

 

Kaworu Nagisa is definitely something new. 

All his life Shinji has been surrounded by people, but none of those people were the smiling type. Or they simply never thought Shinji worth of a smile.  Kaworu Nagisa, though, seems to be all smiles. And all smiles are for Shinji.

The first time they met, Kaworu had been so kind Shinji couldn’t believe he was real. But then they met again at Nerv headquarters and he was real. He was so real Shinji could’ve hugged him and felt the softness of his fair skin and the solidity of his bones. 

Not that he wanted to do that.

Maybe.

Kaworu seems to enjoy life in a way no one around Shinji does. He doesn’t just like music, he enjoys music. Sometimes Shinji can hear him faintly humming a song or he finds himself admiring Kaworu’s profile while he’s so engrossed in playing the piano that the whole world seems to disappear and leave them together, encompassed by the warmth of the sun and the lightness of the music.

He reads a lot but, contrary to the way Ayanami always carries a book with her, Kaworu seems to experience the story he’s reading about. It isn’t just some fictional affair he’s immersed in, it’s as if the book were happening to him.

He seems to enjoy laying on the grass with his eyes closed and chat with Shinji about a variety of subjects - as if he cares about Shinji’s opinion - while the sun warms their skin. 

And he seems to look every day for Shinji’s company.

And that’s something new to Shinji.

He’s used to being alone, to not have friends because friends are people who think you’re worthy of attention, worthy of their time. And Shinji isn't worthy. Shinji is just living his life, trying not to be a burden to others, trying not to demand too much attention lest people find him an annoyance.

But with Kaworu all changes. 

It’s Kaworu who demands Shinji’s attention, who asks Shinji questions because his opinion matters. Kaworu, who always turns to him smiling. A warm smile, an inviting smile. Kaworu, who waits for him after training so they can take a bath together and talk. Who’s always so delighted when he finds Shinji at his door in the morning so they can walk and have breakfast together and talk. Kaworu who says things like  _ I was born to meet you _ with such a disarming honesty that Shinji can’t do anything else but fall for him. And Shinji’s more than happy to spend his time with Kaworu discussing life, napping together or exchanging little truths about themselves in the dark of the night. 

The first time Shinji waits for kaworu after a day of training and testing he doesn't do it consciously. He's delaying coming back to his room. He can already feel the heavy silence and for once he's not so eager to close himself off to the world. He doesn't think he will meet Kaworu, doesn't explicitly think he'd like to meet Kaworu. He's just alone in a public place with the Ode to Joy filling his ears. One moment he's alone and the next Kaworu's in front of him, smiling. Shinji blushes at the accusation of waiting for Kaworu, denies it. But a small voice in his head wonders if this was exactly what he was hoping for: company. He can't deny that Kaworu intrigues him. He's always saying odd but true things. He observes the people around him, Shinji, and then says what he thinks as if he doesn't know what personal space is or that there are things you're not supposed to say to people you've just met. And maybe that's what attracts Shinji to him. His sincerity, his honest opinion, his openness and the free and non-judgemental way he express himself.

He doesn't know how he ends up sleeping in Kaworu's room - did he ask for a place to sleep or did Kaworu offer? That night's a blur. All the things Kaworu said struck something in Shinji. He was right, he saw through Shinji in a matter of days. Shinji's amazed at Kaowru's words and a little frightened. They just met, how can Kaworu already know him? Most importantly, why is Shinji always looking for his company? Why isn't Shinji avoiding him like he does with everybody else? There something in Kaworu that makes Shinji do what Kaworu suggests. Kaworu's not manipulating him or coercing him, Shinji knows. He's well aware of all his father's tactics to make Shinji do what he wants, and Kaworu is so far from this behaviour. There's just something in the way Kaworu smiles and suggests thing that makes Shinji want to go along with it, see what happens next, what Kaworu will do next. 

That night Shinji ends up spilling all those things he never said to anyone. With one prompt from Kaworu, words start flowing from Shinji's lips. They don't get tangled together or firmly lodged in his throat as often happen. Shinji talks with a calm he's never felt before. A certainty that Kaworu will listen and not judge him. Kaworu will understand. 

Shinji doesn't get disappointed for once. Kaworu listens in silence, looking at Shinji. His focused eyes on Shinji's face, reading the lines around his mouth and the hot tears that at times prickle Shinji's eyes. And the next morning Kaworu's still there, lying on his side, eyes fixed on Shinji, smiling. 

They start spending more time together. At school their desks are next to each other. During lunch they eat on the roof, chatting and basking in the warm breeze. They ride the train to and from school together, sometimes in silence, just sitting next to each other. In their rare days off, when there's no training, no tests and no Angels, they read, walk, listen to some music together. Shinji has never spent so much time with the same person. 

When Angels attack, they fight, together with Asuka and Ayanami. But when the battle's done, when the body can still feel a dull ache in the limbs and the brain's having difficulty processing that  _ everything's okay, all the limbs are still attached, nothing is bleeding, so why does it still hurt, we're okay, stop hurting _ , in those moments, Shinji and Kaworu lie down together. Kaworu's very presence a calming balm for Shinji's overworked brain. 

It's in those moments that Kaworu's weird dance starts. He gets close to Shinji, he hugs him and soothes him with gentle touches but at Shinji's first sign of discomfort, he backs away slowly only to move closer again when Shinji looks for his presence, his touch. Kaworu's always the first to initiate physical contact and Shinji's always taken aback. He's not used to so many attentions, so much care. But he's also slowly getting comfortable with it. Shinji starts looking for Kaworu's warm touch. The graze of a knee, a hand on his shoulder. Hugs are still something Shinji's trying to work on. He doesn't have the courage to walk up to Kaworu and wrap his arms around him just because Shinji wants to do it, just because he likes hugging him and being hugged. There's still a small, scared voice that wonders  _ what if Kaworu doesn't want to be touched, what if hugging him is too much? _ So he fidgets, looks at Kaworu, averts his eyes and looks at him again, a curious side glance, as sneaky as he can be. He plays in his head how the situation could unfold, how it would feel like to be so sure of himself to finally be able to approach Kaworu and hug him without prompting. Those thoughts make his blood run, sing in his ears and rush to his face. He's warm all over just at the thought of having the freedom and courage to hug Kaworu. And being hugged in return. And when it happens, when Kaworu stretches his arm out to hug Shinji's shoulders, when he closes his arms around Shinji and makes their bodies touch, Shinji's blood is dancing in his veins, his heart is blooming, slow and amazed, a flower which only blossoms at night. His thoughts quiet down and his arms move, liquid like molasses, to encircle Kaworu, hands resting on his back, a gentle pressure on Kaworu's shoulder blades. 

Kaworu's little touches become a constant in their relationship. Kaworu's sure hand fitting in Shinji's own, giving him strenght, whispering  _ I'm here, I'm here _ ; his hands caressing Shinji's arm, a light, gentle touch promising understanding and companionship; a sudden hug, Kaworu's laughter singing in Shinji's ears and their bodies touching; Kaworu wrapping his arms around Shinji in the dark of the night, his forehead leaning against the back of Shinji's head, his chest touching Shinji's back, the rise and fall of Kaworu's breathing a soft nightingale which lull Shinji to sleep.

The night when everything changes, they’re laying down on Kaworu’s bed. They’ve taken up the habit of winding down together after a stressful day or a particularly difficult fight against an Angel and read, chat or simply let themselves be lulled by each other’s breathing. 

This night Shinji is too tired to do anything more than lay down and watch Kaworu read. Shinji likes looking at Kaworu while he’s immerse in reading. He likes to study his profile, his focused gaze, the little smiles that sometimes ripple on his lips. Shinji’s laying on his side and the bed is narrow enough that their knees are touching. They’re both wearing short sweatpants and that single point of contact of their naked skin is so very present in Shinji’s mind. It’s as if Kaworu’s warmth is seeping through Shinji from where they’re touching. 

Shinji would like to have a bit more of that warmth.

When Kaworu finishes reading the manga he had picked up that afternoon, he smiles at Shinji before turning the light off and murmuring a soft “Goodnight”.

In the dark room, Shinji relaxes a little more. He can still see Kaworu’s profile next to him but with less visibility than before he hope Kaworu can’t make out in his peripheral vision that Shinji is still looking at him. 

However, the day has been a long and difficult one and sleep tugs gently at Shinji’s eyelids until they close. He doesn’t even try to match his breathing with Kaworu’s, it just happens naturally.

The first few nights they spent together like this, Shinji was hyperaware of every breath he was taking and how noisy his breathing was, how loud the rustling of the linen was with every single twitch of his legs and how close Kaworu was. Now though, their matching breathing is a lullaby and Kaworu’s presence is a comfort.

He’s relishing Kaworu’s closeness when he hears, “Shinji?”.

His reply is an unintelligible sound.

“Shinji, have you ever had a girlfriend?” 

Shinji gives a start.

“Why…why do you ask?”

“Just curiosity.” Replies Kaworu. “I was reading a love story, and I was wondering if Shinji had ever had a girlfriend.” Kaworu turns on his side, facing Shinji, and asks, “Have you?”

Kaworu’s knee is in-between Shinji’s and suddenly, that’s all he can think about. Their knees touching, how intense and focused Kaworu’s eyes are and how much he would like to entwine his legs with Kaworu’s.

He also doesn’t know how to respond. Shinji’s a little self-conscious of the fact that he’s never had any romantic experience in his life even though at his age it’s very common to have had some.

He knows Kaworu isn't the type of person to judge him based on which experiences he has had and which he hasn’t. He just doesn’t want to make a bad impression. He heard many times what people think of those who are still inexperienced at his age and, even though every part of him screams to him that Kaworu isn’t  _ like that _ , some other part is still afraid.

But Kaworu has always been nice to him and has never said anything that upsets him. So Shinji decides to trust Kaworu again and he shakes his head no.

Kaworu smiles, gives a noncommittal sound and whispers, “Do you like girls?”

Shinji’s cheeks are becoming redder and redder, he knows. This is not a subject he ever wants to discuss. It’s embarrassing and uncomfortable but it also feels good. Shinji can feel that in this dark and silent room a strange connection is forming between them and breaking it is the last thing he wants. So he slowly nods and faintly adds, “Not…not just…girls.” while his cheeks warm up even more at an alarmingly fast pace.

Kaworu’s smile widens as he utters, “Do you like me, Shinji?”

At these words all of Shinji’s blood rushes to his cheeks so quickly he feels lightheaded. 

This conversation is going places Shinji hasn’t even travelled to in his own mind. Talking about past romantic experiences - as nonexistent as they are - is one thing, confessing the strange and scary attraction for the person in front of him is another. Shinji is not stupid, he knows the affection he feels for Kaworu is more than just friendship. He can’t even count how many times he spent daydreaming about Kaworu’s voice, his eyes, lips, kindness, how much he likes to feel Kaworu’s hands between his, hugging him, maybe one day kissing him. 

Shinji’s heart is racing and everything he wants to do is hide under the sheets and flee Kaworu’s scrutinizing gaze, but there’s something pushing inside him. Something that’s tired of being silent, something that wants to be recognized and accepted.

Shinji nods. Slowly but unmistakably. 

Kaworu scoots himself a bit closer to him and asks, his breath caressing Shinji’s face, “May I kiss you, Shinji?”

Shinji’s eyes drop to Kaworu’s mouth. His lips so fair and thin. So inviting. His head’s throbbing for how much blood migrated to his face and his heart seems to want to escape from Shinji’s chest and take residence in between Kaworu’s warm hands. 

Shinji is drifting and everything seems to be shifting, moving with the rotation of the Earth and the only fixed point is Kaworu. The only anchor is Kaworu.

Shinji slowly nods and moves involuntarily closer.

And then, Kaworu’s lips touch Shinji’s.

The kiss is gentle, a soft press of lips together.

Shinji’s breath get caught in his throat and all his thoughts disappear. There’s just his heart racing, the silence of the room and Kaworu’s lips on his.

It lasts both an eternity and a millisecond and now they’re already separating from each other. 

Kaworu’s eyes are on his as he asks, “May I kiss you again, Shinji?”.

He nods in response and lets Kaworu kiss him again because, after experiencing such closeness how can Shinji survive without it?

This time, Kaworu’s tongue caresses Shinji’s lips and he slowly parts them. There’s no anxiety on what to do, what’s the next step. There’s not a single worry on Shinji’s mind. He’s just relishing in the feeling of Kaworu’s lips and tongue and responding to Kaworu’s movements. 

It’s the easiest thing Shinji has ever done.

As the kiss becomes more exploratory, Kaworu’s tongue becoming more daring, Shinji is filled with emotions and feelings, so many like he’s never experienced before. A tiny sound escapes his lips and flows to Kaworu’s mouth.

They separate a few times with labored breathing but go right back into kissing each other as if they’re being pulled by two magnets that just want to touch.

Kaworu’s hands start softly mapping Shinji’s skin, his hips, his waist, his arms while he gently pushes him against the mattress. 

Shinji’s heart falters and his stomach drops at the feeling of Kaworu’s body on him, pushing him down. It isn’t scary. It’s comforting and something he never thought he was craving, this familiar solidity that grounds him and makes him lightheaded. He gasps and hiccups and when Kaworu gently inclines his head to kiss him more deeply he softly moans. Shinji would be embarrassed of all this tiny, little sounds he can’t keep quiet but Kaworu seems so eager to drink them up and elicit more that Shinji couldn’t stay silent even if he tried. 

He loses control over his limbs. Shinji's hands are caressing Kaworu's back, the soft cotton of his shirt an unwanted barrier between them. He doesn't dare touch further than Kaworu's waist but his legs spread on their own accord to let Kaworu adjust, fitting every inch of his body against Shinji. He's so warm he would be afraid of overheating himself if only he could think. But the only thing he's capable of is feeling Kaworu's warmth against his own, Kaworu's lips, soft and wet, and Kaworu's hands stroking his skin, eliciting tiny shivers of pleasure.

They keep kissing each other for a while even though the very concept of time is something they aren’t able to grasp in that moment. 

Or they simply don’t care.

When they part again, Kaworu’s hands cradling Shinji’s face, their gazes meet and Kaworu smiles a comforting little grin that reassures Shinji that this is okay, this happened, it was good and nobody is regretting it. So Shinji beams a tentative smile back.

Kaworu leaves a soft peck on Shinji’s lips before laying back against the mattress pulling Shinji with him. He settles his head on Kaworu’s shoulder, their sides touching from head to knee and he relaxes in Kaworu’s embrace while their breathing slow to a normal pace.

Neither of them say anything else that night.

They slowly and contentedly drift off to sleep.

 

The next morning is another story entirely.

The sun seems to have dissipated the easy connection and honesty that pushed Shinji to admit his feelings and now, with the surfacing of his conscience from a deep sleep, his mind is adrift in a sea of fear.

Every muscles of Shinji’s body is contracted so hard he could very well start shaking at a moment’s notice. He forces himself to stay calm and to not do any sudden movements. The plan is to gently extricates himself from Kaworu’s hug and leave the room without waking him up. And maybe hide somewhere until the end of time.

He can’t even move his legs from Kaworu’s that he hears his soft and still sleepy voice saying, “Good morning”.

And all the panic he was holding off is roaring at full force in his mind.

Shinji starts and gets the furthest away he can from Kaworu, which isn’t much, and he plasters his back against the wall.

He sees Kaworu sitting up, from his peripheral, but he can’t find the courage to look him in the eyes. Not while he still remember how soft Kaworu’s lips were and all the little noises he made.

“Shinji?”, Kaworu asks gently, “Everything all right?”

And, of course it’s not all right. They kissed and stroked each other’s skin and Shinji’s never been so close, so intimate with someone else. He doesn’t know what to do. Do you comment on the events of the night before? Do you pretend that nothing happened? In the first instance, he wouldn’t know what to say, he would be way too embarrassed to even think of what to say. In the second instance he doesn’t know how he can survive without another kiss, another gentle whisper from Kaworu, another moment of intimacy. 

But Kaworu seems to feel Shinji’s panic and he places his hand on Shinji’s knee, the touch very cautious, as if he fears Shinji could run away at the first little contact. While all Shinji wants is another chance to touch him and be touched.

“Don’t be afraid, Shinji”, he says in a low voice. 

Shinji feels Kaworu’s hand tug his chin upwards, trying to make Shinji look at him in the eyes. Shinji doesn’t fight it, but can’t keep his eyes open. His head is spinning too much to even try to make sense of everything.

In the very moment he feels Kaworu’s lips on his, his mind goes still and his body relaxes.

Kaworu leaves tiny little kisses on Shinji’s lips before deepening the kiss. Shinji gets swallowed whole in the humid heat of Kaworu’s mouth and the soft movements of his tongue. He feels his mind sway with the gentle motion of Kaworu’s lips and all he can do is fist his hands in Kaworu’s shirt to not go adrift. 

When they separates, Kaworu caresses Shinji’s cheeks.

Shinji slowly opens his eyes and focuses on Kaworu’s lips. Kaworu’s eyes are still too intense for Shinji’s state of mind.

“Don’t be afraid of me”, Kaworu says softly. “Whatever you need, whatever you want, ask and you shall receive, Shinji”.

There is one thing Shinji would like to do. He doesn’t know where he finds the courage but he moves slow towards Kaworu. He leans his forehead on the hollow of Kaworu’s neck and mumbles, “Can we…can we stay…like this…for a bit?”

He feels Kaworu’s hands reaching to his waist and start stroking lightly his skin through his shirt.

“Of course we can, Shinji”, Kaworu whispers back, “Anything you want.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know - if you want - if you've enjoyed it.   
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated.


End file.
